Saturday, May 23, 2009

Do you ever just want to....

be mad...not at anyone, just at everyone for no reason at all, just hate the world and pretend like all your problems are don't exist the top of your lungs and not care if everyone or no one hears you just scream to feel some sort of release in your life

cry...and cry and cry until you are so emotionally drained the next thing you want to do is sleep

run...away, far far away and pray that bills, work, and hardships will never be able to catch up

sleep...for days and for the first time in three years wake up and not be in pain the doctors who say nothing is wrong with you, at the family members who can't begin to understand the pain you are in and all the people who say "you're too young to be in that much pain"...yea no shit. you have millions of dollars

get in the car...and drive and drive and drive with no cares or responsibilities in the world

be lazy...and not feel like a big fat ass for doing it

dream...big fat crazy dreams with no limits and have the faith in yourself to achieve them

give up...cause honestly your too tired and sick of trying and just don't know how much more you can take

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Life is full of adjustments

The past week has been full of adjustments around here. Now that school is over I am working 8-5 everyday like a normal person and although I am ecstactic about this it has been hard to get used to. When your body is used to being up late at night and sleeping until 10 a.m... 6:30 a.m. comes way too early. It also gets complicated when Josh works until 10 at night that I feel bad going to bed and not even talking to him since I go to bed early now. Oh the trials and tribulations of our life.

Work is quiet and actually kind of boring but I am starting to get a bunch of stuff done for next year and just enjoying the peace.

We have decided that we are not going to go on one big vacation this year but do lots of fun weekend trips which I am so excited about. Our first mini vaca is at the end of the month and we are going to Cleveland to go to 2 Indians games and have some fun in Cleveland. I am so excited.

Other than that nothing new...right now we are just waiting for Josh's parents to arrive for a weekend here. Hopefully the weather doesn't ruin our plans.

Jess Bay

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A letter to my Mom

Dear Mom,

Words can not express how grateful I am to have you in my life. Thank you for being the glue that has held my life together for the past 24 crazy years of my life. I know at times I was a challenging young woman with a mind of my own but thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for teaching me so many things but also allowing me to learn from my own mistakes. I am so lucky to have a mom that I can call at any time day or night just to say hi or to listen to my newest crisis in life. I know being a single mom was the most difficult thing for you but you did an amazing job raising two incredible, wonderful, successful children who would not be who they are if they didn't have you as a mother. Thank you for telling me how proud you are of me and for believing in me when I didn't even believe in myself. You have given up so much for me, taken care of me when I have been sick, sat and cried with me when my heart was breaking into a million pieces, helped me move like 7 times and never complained one single time. You have given me great wings to be on my own and always know that no matter where I am you will always be home to me.

Happy Mother's Day! I love you!


Saturday, May 9, 2009

Spring Cleaning

Today was fun and exhausting. We cleaned the entire apartment...paritally because it really really needed cleaning and kinda because Josh's parents are coming to visit next weekend.But I do love cleaning and getting rid of the extra junk we have accumulated the past 10 months (which surprisingly is a lot). I love being able to acutal close the closet doors and feel like we accomplished something. Yay being clean.

Then I planted some flowers..which was more fun than I anticipated. On a whim last night we bought some flower hanging things, and all that other stuff. I felt like such a grown up (I know I am a grown up) buying something for us and our apartment. I am so not play in the dirt kinda girl but I really liked planting the flowers.

Then I made some dinner..and now I am heading out the door to do some spring shopping. Maybe some bowling tonight...


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Real Life Memory Lane

Welcome Back for another Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane. If you would like to join in just click the button below!

This past weekend was nothing but a blast from the past and I loved it! I was fortunate enough to be invited to the wedding of two of my former students from when I worked at Akron and had a great time. Mike (the groom) was what I like to call my "1st student" and we have both been there for each other at times I think no one else really understands.

When I started my graduate assistantship at The University of Akron at a mere 21 years old in July of 2006 I was beyond petrified. New city, new job, new friends, and a whole lot of new responsibilities. One of my biggest new responsibilities was being in charge of all Greek Life events...Greek Week, Songfest, Blood Drives...etc. Well Mike was the student that was hired to plan all those with my support an guidance. When I met Mike he was a young boy with holey Hollister jeans an earring and a sorta fake tan and I think he looked at me and saw a girl (not much older than him) who was supposedly his "boss" and I think he wanted to run for the door.

I knew I was in for the ride of my life getting him and I on the same page. This was first time in my whole life that I was someones supervisor and I was lost and not very good at it. Throughout that year Mike and I definitely had our moments and challenges and I think I fired him 100 times but I would not give any of it back. We made it a successful year and we did it together. I knew no matter what Mike and I were a team...a crazy unorganized sometimes screaming at each other..but a team none the less. Our boss/employee relationship didn't end after that year Mike still came and visited while he worked in athletics and he moved into my apartment complex as well. He came to me for advice and I found myself still needing his input on my life.

As I sat in church this past Saturday and watched him get married that little boy with the holey jeans and earring was gone...he was now a man getting ready to take on the life as a husband and a father and I have never been so proud in my life. In my profession I get to work with lots of kids and be part of lots of lives. You never expect wedding invitations, you never expect to have made that big of am impact on someones life that you will make that very short list of people to be there on one of the most important days of their lives. I am so happy I made the list to see Mike and Kristine get married. When I got a chance to actually talk to Mike on his big day he simply said "this wouldn't be right if you weren't here" and I finally's all worth it.

Mike will forever feel like a little brother to me and just not a former student and I hope we remain lifelong friends. Grad school was by far the most challenging, emotional, draining two years of my life but I am so grateful to have wonderful people to remind me of where I came from,where I am going and most importantly that I am somehow making a difference.

Lots of love,