Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Honesty Time

When Josh and I first started dating I fashioned a time every so often when we talked on the phone deemed honesty time. It was just a silly way of me being honest not to be hurtful just to express how I was feeling, so as nice as I am I am going to have some honestly time with myself and my readers.

Things are hard right now. I know it seems like everything is always "hard" for us but this is way different than it was when we lived in Pennsylvania. I like my job, I am still struggling with being new and learning and adapting but that was to be expected. I love where we live, we have a great apartment (could be a little bit bigger but I think all apartments could be bigger), we have awesome neighbors who are super nice and around our age, I love being close to shopping and grocery stores and all in all just love the town we live in.

I just feel like things are different, and I can't seem to figure out how to make it better. Money is tight and that is a huge stressor in our relationship. I have not been feeling well at all and after 2 rounds of antibiotics still not feeling well, and with no sick time I am forced to work and try and get better (not likely). I am tired all the time, my fibromyalgia seems to be reacting terribly to the weather change which equals me being in a great deal of pain and very tired which is no fun at all. I am stressing about the holidays because that means having to travel all over the place, buying gifts we can't afford and just lots of stress for me.

I just feel like after surviving 6 years of school I would be in a better place than I am. I feel like I am just barely making it through living paycheck to paycheck. Just not how I envisioned my life.

Josh and I love each other dearly and I know nothing but good things are in our future. Josh will be starting classes in the spring and hopefully things will start looking up for us. I just feel like life gets in the way of a lot of things.

Sorry for the rant or for being a downer I just needed to get some of this off my chest. We are ok and will be just fine just needed to write this to feel some release.

I promise to be more uplifting tomorrow =)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

My First Award!

My Sweet follower Katie gave me my first award today! I love it!
I don't have long to chat today, I am heading to Columbus for a work conference but please check out Katie's blog, it's so much fun!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Sick days

I called in sick today and didn't go to work and I hated it! I have a serious problem..I am legitimately ill (2 ear infections and a kidney infection) and my body was just telling me I needed to rest and rest I did indeed. But the entire day I just felt so guilty about not going to work. I have only been there 2 months and I already took a day off, just doesn't seem right. Although, with all his H1N1 crap they tell us to stay home so I guess that should cease my worry. I hate looking like a bad employee or a slacker, cause I am so not!

Anyways, rant over. I mentioned that we had some exciting news! So speaking of taking days off work Josh and I and his entire family are going on a week long cruise in December to the Eastern Caribbean (Bahamas, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas) and it's going to be great. I will be taking a week off work ( and yes I already feel guilty about that too) and having a great time right before Christmas.

So that is all on this surprisingly warm fall day that I spent laying in bed watching crappy tv.

Hope you had a great day =O)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sweet Little Boy

It almost pains me to write this: my littlest baby brother turns 9 today!! Sweet Andrew is honestly the family comedian and entertainer. He always has something random and funny to say but at the same time spends a great deal of his time sitting back and watching the rest of us. As a child Andrew was usually playing by himself trying not to get caught up with the older two boys. It has been so fun to watch him grow and change, especially since Lauren was born. He has taken the big brother role very seriously and takes such good care of her. He loves soccer and baseball and video games and is trying desperately to be a little boy but fit in with his teenage older brothers all at the same time.

I wish this picture was not so dark and blurry but this is Andrew break dancing at our older brother's wedding. Best thing ever! He has already taught Lauren the robot and the soulja boy dance, like I said he is quite the entertainer.

So Happy Birthday to my sweet baby brother, who I love so much and am so proud of! You are an incredible little boy and I love being here to watch you grow up!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Harvest of Friends Blog Party

My old "chum" Lynnette (remember Wednesday's Walk) is doing a a Blog party so I thought I would join in.

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while you're blogging? I don't think I really ever eat anything while blogging

2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without? Air Conditioning or heat depending on the season

3. Beach, Mountains or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice? Beach for sure!

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty? I hate cleaning the bathroom

5. Who do people say you remind them of? When I was younger people would say Sandra Bullock, but mostly everyone and I mean even strangers so I look just like my mother

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying at home with the fam? It depends

7. What's your all time favorite movie? The Wizard of Oz

8. Do you sleep in your make up or remove it like a good girl every night? I take it off every night

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it? I would love to learn how to play the piano or any instrument and I would love to learn how to sew

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at? I am really good at organizing stuff

11. What first attracted you to your boyfriend? His smile and his goofy ways

12. What is something you love to smell? Lilacs and cinnamon spice candles

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people. I am kinda bossy at times

14. When you have extra money (HA!) what's the first thing you think to do with it? Go shopping!

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?I am a loud laughter. I laugh at myself a lot, mostly cause I do stupid things and Josh makes fun of me for it

16. Where is your favorite place to shop? It used to be New York and Company but now its anywhere I can find something I like for cheap

17. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time? Read, exercise (ha!), crafty stuff

18. Are you a big spender or frugal? I spend too much and I know it
19. Who is your favorite character of all time (from a movie or book)? (Can't be real) Alli Hamilton from the Notebook, both a book AND a movie

20. Would you want to be famous? The older I get the more I think not. I enjoy my private life being my own and people not following me around all the time. I think I will keep it that way.

Hope you learned a little bit more about me! To join in click the button at the top of the post.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Being a "big" sister

Since we have moved we have been going non stop, which is probably the reason I am so tired and think I am getting sick but in my opinion it has all been worth it. As most of you know, I LOVE being a big sister to the boys and Lauren. They truly light up my life, but this weekend I had a small glimpse into motherhood and to be 100% honest I don't think I am ready for that at all.

I took 3 of the 4 kids to an apple/pumpkin farm near their house for their annual Fall Fest. We had all gone as a family several years ago but I wanted to just have a fun afternoon, with just me and them. I must mention that the day before we went it rained the entire day and I knew it was going to be a muddy mess, and it was. We climbed in the tree house, the boys went through the corn maze, Lauren and I roasted marshmallows and the 2 little ones jumped on a bouncy house, we ate some snacks and then after all of us almost getting stung by bees, I decided it was time to leave.

As a way to give my step mom some more quite time we went to the mall where Andrew picked out his birthday gift (a video game) and we played glow in the dark miniature golf. Lauren got tired half way through but we finished and went home.

Let me just say, being their big sister is the most rewarding experience in my life, but they are EXHAUSTING. I was so tired when we got home and they all just wanted to keep going and going. Not that it is important but it is also amazing how easy it is to spend money on kids without even realizing it. Not to mention how hard it is to keep track of them (don't worry I got them all home in 1 piece). But at 25 I was certain that I would have at least one child by now, and after seeing a car seat in my tiny little Jetta I don't think my life is even remotely close to being equipped for children.

All in all it was a successful but muddy day at the farm and mall. Regardless of any mishaps, I love being able to watch these kids grow up and become little people with opinions and interests. I am so truly blessed with the life that I have been given and the family that I love.

I also have some fun and exciting news that I will be posting about very soon...so stay tuned!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The Ins and outs of moving to a new city

Moving....yes it sucks. Moving everything down 3 flights of stairs, driving 6 hours and moving everything back up a flight of stairs. It was hot, it was stressful, but in my opinion it is not the hardest part of moving to a new place.

We have lived here for a little over six weeks and here is just a short run down of the good and not so good things I am getting used to.

1. Not knowing where anything is, or how to get there
Sort of an expected annoyance but thankfully Josh knows how to get a lot of places, we live right across from grocery stores and gas stations so at least that's easy, and I always have my GPS!

2. Toledo having terrible radio stations
This is probably an annoyance only applicable to me but with a 40 minute commute to work everyday I wish morning radio was LESS talking MORE music. Isn't that what a radio station is for???

3. Speaking of that 40 minute commute...it sucks an I'm dreading winter already

4. Not knowing any of the channels on the tv...
Not to sound like a huge tv junkie but I definitely have my shows but I still have no idea what channels they are on and I hate how our satellite goes out every time the wind blows or it rains

5. Finding really exciting places (This is a definite good thing)
I was out running some errands and saw that we have a "Onc*e U*pon A C*hild" here which is a consignment like children's store not that we have children but its so much fun to buy stuff for the other kids in our life and we have a C*lothes Ment*or which is a resale store for women's clothes, I will certainly be checking that out soon

6. Being Closer to home :)
One of the reasons I have not blogged pretty much at all. We have been constantly on the go visiting people and making up for lost time

7. Making new friends :0 )
As I am growing up I find this to be one of the most challenging things to overcome. After leaving grad school there is really never a time when you are surrounded by people doing the same thing you are. Now in the working world everyone is doing their own thing, getting married, having babes, etc. But I am super excited to be meeting a lot of new people and making some new friends.

I am starting to feel like this is where we belong right now in our lives and things will get better, things will work themselves out, and yes it is hard but its all worth it.