Moments...part 1

Everyone has those moments...moments that seem so insignificant at first but slowly those moments begin to shape our lives and who we are becoming. I have been having several of those moments over the past few weeks and have had an interesting time dealing with them.

I have loved being a big sister... ever since the day Austin was born 15 years ago I was so excited to be some body's big sister and now have 4 little siblings looking up to me, but just the other day I realized the true meaning of being there and helping to take care of these kids. We have received some bad news about my step-mom's mom (so the little kids grandma) that she has stage 3 uterine cancer. Although doctor's seem optimistic the news hit us all very hard. So just like any other day around 10:00 p.m. I got ready for bed and was reading a book in bed and all of a sudden my phone rang and it was Austin's cell phone calling me. I immediately thought something bad was about to happen but all he could say was that he was pissed off at the world, life was unfair and that he didn't want bad things to keep happening to our family. At 1st I was so thrilled and honored and shocked that I was the person he called in his crisis moment, but then it occurred to me. I have no idea what to say to him to make him feel better.

I just started saying it's all gonna be ok, we will make it through this, we always make it through everything that is thrown our way as a family, no matter what. I tried to convince him that cancer is not a death sentence and to not give up hope.

That seemed to calm him and then he got off the phone. I then sat up in bed and just started to cry, cause I honestly have no idea if it's all gonna be ok, if we are gonna make it through this or what the outcome will be, but all I did know was at that moment I had suddenly been thrust into the world of adulthood, of taking care of another person and loving them as much as you could, even if it meant lying for the mere purpose of protecting them. I suddenly began to understood a lot more of the things that had been hidden from me as a child and young adult and as much as I hated it at the time, I am so happy my parents loved me enough to keep it from me and let me keep being a kid.

So here I am, being a big sister a job that I didn't necessarily sign up for but am so proud and so happy to do for the rest of my life.