When Josh and I first started dating I fashioned a time every so often when we talked on the phone deemed honesty time. It was just a silly way of me being honest not to be hurtful just to express how I was feeling, so as nice as I am I am going to have some honestly time with myself and my readers.
Things are hard right now. I know it seems like everything is always "hard" for us but this is way different than it was when we lived in Pennsylvania. I like my job, I am still struggling with being new and learning and adapting but that was to be expected. I love where we live, we have a great apartment (could be a little bit bigger but I think all apartments could be bigger), we have awesome neighbors who are super nice and around our age, I love being close to shopping and grocery stores and all in all just love the town we live in.
I just feel like things are different, and I can't seem to figure out how to make it better. Money is tight and that is a huge stressor in our relationship. I have not been feeling well at all and after 2 rounds of antibiotics still not feeling well, and with no sick time I am forced to work and try and get better (not likely). I am tired all the time, my fibromyalgia seems to be reacting terribly to the weather change which equals me being in a great deal of pain and very tired which is no fun at all. I am stressing about the holidays because that means having to travel all over the place, buying gifts we can't afford and just lots of stress for me.
I just feel like after surviving 6 years of school I would be in a better place than I am. I feel like I am just barely making it through living paycheck to paycheck. Just not how I envisioned my life.
Josh and I love each other dearly and I know nothing but good things are in our future. Josh will be starting classes in the spring and hopefully things will start looking up for us. I just feel like life gets in the way of a lot of things.
Sorry for the rant or for being a downer I just needed to get some of this off my chest. We are ok and will be just fine just needed to write this to feel some release.
I promise to be more uplifting tomorrow =)