Monday, June 22, 2009

Emotions 1 Me 0

It is amazing how your emotions can just take over you without your permission. Unfortunately, that is what happened to me all day yesterday.

I didn't think Father's Day would be that difficult for me to survive being away from home, as I got through Mother's Day without a problem, but as soon as my grandpa called to thank me for his card all I wanted to do was be home. Home to have seen him open the card, home to celebrate my big brother's 1st Father's day, home just in case this was my other grandpa's last father's day with us. Just home, cause anymore home is the only place I want to be. So, I cried and cried some more and than fought with Josh cause I was angry at the world. The stupid world that won't let me find a job closer to home so I could have been with my family just to sit around and laugh. The stupid world that has forced me to live 3 stinkin hours away from my beautiful little sister that got to ride with our Daddy to the store on Father's Day to get the newspaper...just like I used to do. My stupid world which I feel like has been completely turned upside down this past year with people falling, and people needing oxygen tanks, and people needing me or me needing them or me just feeling like I am missing the most important thing in my family.


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