Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What do I really want?

Right now I really want a snow day tomorrow....I am praying and wishing for one like a 10 year old little girl but thats not really what this post is about.

I just don't know what I want. Sometimes I really want to move back home and be closer to the family and other days I wish nothing more than to live mintues from the beach and warm weather. Considering, home is getting 11 inches of snow and we here are getting around 5 obviously today is more the latter. I just feel like I used to be this girl with dreams the size of Texas. I wanted to change the world one person at time and not let anything get in my way. Now everyday it seems like there is another reason why I should be back in Ohio, helping my family. It's not like I think they are incapable of surviving without me or vice versa. I just think life would be much more simple if we lived closer. I know I am going to miss the birth of my brother's first child in the next few weeks and to be honest it eats me up inside. My brother and I have never really seen eye to eye at most things in life but this is something that I certainly feel I should be a part of. I miss every thing about my little brothers and sister lives, baseball games, football games, school plays or just growing up in general. I feel like Lauren was just born and here she will be 4 years old in March and is growing into a smaller version of me...and I am missing every moment.

I guess I just thought it would be easier. I wanted to move much farther away then the 3 hours I am now and I know God put me here for a reason. The reason I have come up with is to realize how much I need the support and love from my family and Josh's family in order to be happy in life.

I love my job, I love helping college students, student activities and Greek Life. I was born and meant to work on a college campus. I just wish I could still stop by my mom's for dinner if I wanted to.

Maybe someday....

Pray for a snow day!

Jess Bay


Post a Comment